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Plastic Pants Articles

Jingle The Alarm Bells

It's that time of year again: Santa is in shopping malls scaring the kids, scrawny plastic Christmas trees blink from store windows and hordes of barefoot girls wander the streets at night, clutching high strappy stilettos, resting their heads on boyfriends' shoulders and slumping on bus seats swearing about more

Devils On Horseback: Nile Reins In The Pooves With Hooves

ISN'T it the most tremendous fun to see Fred Nile back in the news? Fred Nile commenting on events in the 21st century is like hearing there's still a shop somewhere where you can get unflattering pants made of parachute material.

Art Of Making The Scg Pitch Perfect For The Ashes

Over at the indoor nets, footballer Wendell Sailor - looking every bit a proper cricketer but for the protector worn Superman-style outside his pants - is slogging a gift ball by Shane Warne back over the heads of his Wallaby teammates.

Teen Denies Knowing Of Loaded Pistol

A DAPTO teenager found lying unconscious on a footpath in Crown St on Saturday night, claims he knew nothing of the loaded pistol that was allegedly found stuffed down his pants.

The Paris End: Dental As Anything

Once I cross Exhibition Street and move east into the final, elegant leg of Collins, the section known as ``the Paris end", the only thing I see is teeth. Chipped teeth, yellowed teeth, broken teeth, crooked teeth, infected teeth, wisdom teeth. Teeth with holes in them, teeth shot with more